The Antitraveller
Voyaging Is Victory

Rebranding Sydney

the Tourism Minister recently announced an additional
$40 million to be spent on tourism development over three years. In the
next three months, industry representatives will be asked to help
formulate an action plan, including how best to rebrand Sydney.


rebranding sydney to the world

‘Visit Sydney – come and talk property prices with us!’

Sydney is becomong the globally famous place where everyone from chiropractors to
carpet cleaners, single mums to CEO’s, talk property prices and
investments. Foreigners are delighted to find that Sydney-siders talk about
their properties and investments at every chance they get, in public and in
your face without a hint of shame. Overseas visitors who usually get
labelled ‘greedy shallow bores’ in their home countrys find
themselves in utopia upon landing at Sydney airport and being able to
immediately engage in conversation with immigration officials about the
best kind of mortgage to get on an investment property. From there it just
only gets better, and by the time they’ve reached their hotels they’ve been
able to boast to atleast 8 different people about their share portfolios
and property liquidity.

 

One excited tourist exclaimed “Its so great! At home when I open a conversation with a complete stranger by asking ‘where do you live? how much money do you make? what kind of car do you drive? where do your kids go to school?’ I would just get ridiculed as a shallow idiot! But here in Sydney everyone seems to do that! I don’t even get physically assaulted! When I laugh at poor people, Sydney is laughing with me!”

And they arent alone. A growing number of portfolio-boasting tourists admit to flying into Sydney for weeks just so they can chat investments. “Sure there’s the Harbour and beaches, but thats not why we come”, explained a newly married couple in their 40’s on their third trip down under, “you can be anywhere in this great city and start conversations about property prices, rental incomes, problems with those pesky degenerate tenants, and the locals are really into it! They’ll talk for hours about the best markets to invest in, how to avoid paying tax, rental yields and vacancy rates, auction hot spots, capital growth in the cities vs regionals….phew I’m dizzy I’ve been talking so much! At home I’d probably be arrested for being so open about it!”

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